Mathew Barzal – Have You Been Drinking?



Word count: 1,382

I never thought I would be the type of person to go out and drink my feelings away but here I am in a bar drinking my feelings away because I broke up with my boyfriend a couple days ago. 

I knew Mat could do better than me. There were prettier girls out there that would die to be with him. I talked to him before he left for a road trip, let’s just say he didn’t take it really well. I gave him the whole its not you it’sme speech. No one likes that speech. I don’t like that speech, my ex used it on me. 

My friends thought it would be a good idea to get me out of my apartment. That’s how I’m at a bar downtown with a beer in my hand and every so often I would look up at the tv and see the highlights from the Islanders game that they played this afternoon which means they are either on their way home or are already home. I should be home waiting for Mathew to come home.

“What are you doing?” I look to my left and see Jen, one of my friends that brought me to the bar.

“I’m getting a beer,” I tell her holding up my left hand that was holding the beer.

“Really? Because it looks like you were watching the hockey highlights of your ex-boyfriends game.” She looked right at me and knew exactly what I was doing. “If you miss him Y/N then go and be with him.” 

“You know I can’t.”

“What I know is that you made a stupid decision and now you’re here drinking all the feeling away.”

“You’re the one that brought me here.”

“Yeah but Y/N I asked you once and you agreed right away and normally it takes a lot more then me asking just once.” I looked down at my empty beer.

“I think I’m going to go home.” I put my money down for the bartender.

“Let me drive you home.”

“No, I think I’ll just call an Uber.”

As I was walking outside I could feel that my balance was a little off. I went to lean up against the wall while I waited for the Uber to get here.

Once I got to my apartment I started to dig through my purse looking for my keys. I finally pulled them out and tried to put the key through the keyhole but it didn’t seem like it wanted to fit. I looked up at the number and on the door but before I could see the number fully the door opened and I was face to face with Mat. I looked at him with a confused look on my face.

“What are you doing here?” He asked me. What does he mean what am I doing here this is my place.

“Why are you in my apartment?” 

“Have you been drinking Y/N?” I shake my head no but I know he won’t believe me I’m a bad lair when I’m drinking.

“Why are you in my apartment?” I ask again. “Why won’t my key work?” I hold my key up in front of my face. 

“Y/N this is my apartment. How did you get here? You didn’t drive did you?”

“No I got an Uber and I gave the Uber dude my address Mat, not yours.” I pulled out my phone to see the address that I gave the driver.

“Come inside,” Mat opened the door a little more and stepped aside to let me in. I rolled my eyes.

“Oh, you’re so kind as to let me in my own apartment.” I walked right by him and set my bag on the table by the door and looked around and noticed that it wasn’t my place but in fact, it was Mat’s. I turn around to Mat and see that he has a smile on his face.

“What are you smiling about?”

“I’m just waiting for you to realize that this isn’t your place and for you to admit it or your just too drunk and you are here most of the time anyways that you thought this was your place.” I turned away from him and looked around. I saw his bags by the couch meaning he got back not that long ago.

“I am not drunk.” I might be but I don’t want him to know that.

“Why did you go out drinking?” He was still behind by the door. He knew I didn’t go out drinking for fun unless it was with him and his team after a win. I could feel the tears in my eyes but I put my head back so they didn’t fall. 

“I was drinking my feelings away.” I don’t know if Mat heard me because I could barely hear myself but it was pretty quiet in here. 

“Why?” I turned around and looked at him.

“What’s up with all these questions?” I went to grab my bag and walk to the door where Mat was still standing. “Fine you’re right this isn’t my place now if you’ll please step aside so I can leave.”

“Y/N just stay here tonight.” He put both hands on both of my arms and bent down to be eye level with me. 

“We broke up,”

“No, you broke up with me. We still need to talk about that.” I rolled my eyes. There was nothing to talk about. “It’s late just stay the night and I will take you home in the morning.”

“You have practice in the morning.”

“You will still be asleep by the time I get back.” I hate he knew me so well.

We broke up a week and half ago you can’t forget things about the person you love. I still love Mat.

I told him I would stay just because I was too tired to get another Uber and go all the way downstairs. 


I slowly woke up from the sunlight coming in from the window. I stretched my arms above my head and sat up from my bed and looked around but I wasn’t in my bed and I wasn’t in my room. I was in Mat’s room and last night all came back to me. I put my head in my hands. I heard the door open and my head snapped up. I think I moved too fast because the room started to spin.

“You’re awake,” Mat walked in with a bottle of water. “Here take these for your head and here’s some water.” I looked down at what he’s handing him but I can’t bring myself to take it. “Y/N I know your head is probably pounding and spinning right now.” I laid back down on the bed and closed my eyes.

I wish I never went to the bar last night. I wouldn’t be in Mat’s bed right now. I wouldn’t be thinking about telling I made a mistake on breaking up with him. That I love him with all my heart and I would do anything for him to get in this bed with me and just hold me until my head stopped spinning.

Mat took a seat on the bed next to me but I still had my eyes closed.

“Mat I’m sorry,”

“You don’t have to be sorry. I would rather you end up here rather than some strangers house.” I sighed heavily 

“That’s not what I’m sorry for. I’m not sorry for showing up here last night thinking this was my apartment.” I sat up and finally looked at Mat. “I am sorry about coming over the night before you had a road trip and breaking up with you. I didn’t even let you talk or say anything. I’m such a bitch.” I didn’t look away from Mat. He took my hands in his and just looked out our hands. I sat there waiting for him to say something.

“How about we talk about everything over lunch,” He stood up and waited for me to get up.

“Don’t you mean breakfast?”

“No it’s noon Y/N,” He laughed “we can get breakfast food if you like.”

“I could go for some waffles.“



Just for tonight (Mat Barzal)

request: dad!barzal where he watches his kid alone for the first time cause you want to go out with ur friends or smth, and he gets sad bc your son is a total mommys boy and only wants you when he cries?

warnings: none

a/n: i legit wrote this in under 20 mins but i needed to put something out because i’ve been busy so sorry if it’s not up to standards haha 🙂

Taking one last look in the mirror, you gave yourself a nod of approval before grabbing your bag and heading towards the door after receiving a text telling you the taxi was here. You spun around on your heels to face your boyfriend who held your one year old son, Noah, in his arms as he followed behind you. You were going out with a few girlfriends tonight, it was the first time in forever that you were doing so because ever since your son was born you never wanted to leave him alone. It was just your motherly instinct to be with him at all times. Mat was staying home to look after the baby, some father and son bonding time but your boyfriend was nervous because everyone knew that the little boy was a definitely a mommy’s boy so you couldn’t wait to see how that panned our during the night.

“I love you both,” you smiled and pressed a kiss to Mat’s lips before looking down at Noah. “You be good for daddy, okay?” you brushed some of his dark hair down on his soft head.

“You look beautiful,” Mat said after scanning you from head to toe, he really was a lucky man. “Now get going, me and this boy are gonna have a blast! Be safe too.”

You gave both your favourite boys another kiss before opening the door and stepping outside. “Don’t stay up too late!” you called before closing the door and running over to the taxi where your friends were waiting for you.

Mat breathed out and looked down at the baby who stared at the wooden door, probably expecting you to walk back through. “Just you and me tonight, bud.” he rubbed Noah’s back and walked towards the living room. “What should we do first, crack open a couple beers and watch some game highlights?” he joked and chuckled to himself before sitting down on the couch.

Not that long into the night, Noah started screaming and crying and Mat couldn’t seem to calm him down and it was obviously due to you not being here because he had tried everything. He tried feed him, but the plate was just pushed away and he wouldn’t drink from his bottle. Maybe he was tired? Nope, the kid didn’t want to lay down in his crib and kicked when Mat tried to put him in it. He obviously wasn’t going to call you and demand you come home, you deserved a break because you haven’t had a night out since before you were pregnant and he wanted you to have a great time. He would get through the night with the baby, he always pulled his weight around the house and helped you out when he wasn’t off at a game or practice but he wasn’t going to lie, it did upset him that he didn’t seem to have a strong bond with his baby like you had, but that didn’t make him love his son any less. He did try his best and he would continue to.

“Come on little man,” he stood in the middle of the nursery, patting Noah’s back as wet tears dropped onto his shoulder and nothing but whimpering in his ear. “Like me for one night, eh?” Mat ran a hand through his own dark hair and looked out the window.

He sighed and rocked Noah a little while he wondered why the baby wasn’t attached to him as much as he was you. Was it because of hockey? Maybe because he was away a lot of the time and so Noah didn’t really like that…no it couldn’t be. He loved being a dad though,even though he was a young father, he caught on very quite and learned as he went and made sure to make time for his son, because he loved him so much.

It was now nearing ten o’clock and you probably wouldn’t be home until early hours in the morning so Mat would just need to deal with this for a while and so he did, he let Noah play with whatever he wanted too, because the kid didn’t seem tired, so he found the iPad sitting on the coffee table and played with that most of the night, which you would probably have scolded both boys for since the baby was up late. That made Noah feel content for quite a while before he started bubbling up again when he heard your voice on the other when on the people when you called in to see how things were. You felt bad for doing so because you didn’t want to stress Mat out even more with him having to deal with a stubborn baby and told him to maybe try out him to bed again with an item on your clothing so your scent was around him.

“Please stop crying, Noah buddy,” the one year old sat on Mat’s bouncing leg as he tried to calm him down again. “Maybe I should put you down for a nap, eh because it’s way past your bedtime.” that resulted in another screaming match in the nursery because Noah didn’t want to stay in his crib. “How about I come in there with you, eh?” and with that, Mat lay your son down again with your shirt before climbing over the top of the crib and getting in as well. Hopefully this would work and get him to sleep.

The crib was strong enough to hold his weight so he could easily get in and lay down but it wasn’t big enough to fit his tall frame so he would need to make so. Noah watched his father as he sucked on his dummy as he calmed down a little, laying his sad on his dads chest and breathing out through his nose. Mat smiled and pulled a little blanket around them, hopefully this would get Noah to sleep because someone was in the crib with him.

After a few more hours of being out clubbing, you turned up at your house at two am and locked the door behind you after you entered. You weren’t drunk, you had a few drinks but you could handle alcohol and you just wanted to get back to both the loves of your life. Pulling off your jacket after dropping your bag, you hung it up on the rack and looked around the living room, it was quiet which you expected since it was way past bedtime for all three of you. You heels were the next thing to go, letting out a sigh of relief when they were finally off your feet. You weren’t used to wearing heels so they killed your feet. You then made your way towards the bedroom, putting the heels aside as you frowned, Mat wasn’t in your bed, where you did expect him to be so you made your way towards the nursery where you were in for a surprise. Pushing the door open quietly, you entered and walked up towards the crib, putting a hand over your mouth when you took in the sight in front of you. You giggled and shook your head, Mat was sound asleep with baby Noah laying right across his stomach. Both of them looked so at peace but you didn’t know how your boyfriend could feel comfortable in that tiny space but he was definitely making the most of it.

“Baby,” you whispered, reaching down and placing a hand on Mat’s face, stroking your thumb over his cheekbone. “Mathew, baby…”

You watched as his eyes fluttered open, a smile growing on his face when he seen you. “Fun night?” he grunted.

“I was missing my boys all night long. Is that comfortable in there?” you chuckled and looked at Noah. “How about you come cuddle me now?” you asked your boyfriend while carefully moving Noah from being sprawled over him.

Noah shifted slightly but didn’t wake up, he was sound asleep as Mat stepped out of the crib. Your boyfriend couldn’t help but sigh in relief, he couldn’t remember falling asleep really but Noah was finally down for the count so it was success, right?

“Don’t leave me alone again, please.” he half joked with you as you made your way out of the nursery and into the bedroom.

“Stop, he loves you babe,” you took a seat on your bed, taking Mat’s hands in yours. “I know it probably doesn’t seem like it but he does.” you tried to make your sleepy man feel better. “Now get into bed.”

You soon changed into your pyjamas and washed your face and brushed your teeth before climbing into bed beside your mam. You were happy to be home and in the arms of Mat, telling him how much you missed your son and boyfriend. You eventually fell asleep with a smile on your face as Mat played with your hair. You never wanted to leave them alone again either, here is where you would rather be.

midnight feelings | mat barzal


request: not requested.
author’s notes: hey, i’ve been in the middle of a horrible writer’s block and i finally managed to write something. please, if you read it, let me know what you think 🙁 •

my masterlist is linked in my description, please go check it out! • ps. english is not my first language, so please excuse any mistakes.
warnings: drinking.


The music was playing as loudly as ever as you started to realize that the night was already meant to become a huge mistake. It didn’t matter what the reason as to why you were still there was, but you were ready to mentally kick yourself for even going in the first place.

Keep reading